If there was a school for writers
- How to torture/kill in the saddest ways your favourite characters - with Suzanne Collins.
- How to be a complete troll about your plot - with Rick Riordan.
- How to be the most cruel, harsh, sadist and violent writer on Earth - with Michael Grant.
- How to give your characters the most revolting and traumatic past - with J. K. Rowling.
- How to ascend from a funcking fanfiction writer to a fucking best-seller writer - with Cassandra Clare.
- How to have the most crazy, deep and lush metaphors (which don't need exactly to have meaning or sense) - with Tahereh Mafi.
- How to have the mad and non-sense ideas to books, but make them best-sellers - with Scott Westerfeld.
- How to be a boss - with Neil Gaiman.
- How to be C. S. Lewis - with C. S. Lewis.
- How to make the funcking reader cry a fucking ocean in three words - with Nicholas Sparks.
- How to have the best and most creative narrative of the books - with Markus Zusak.
- How to imagine a whole new universe, creatures and even a new language - with J. R. R. Tolkien.
- How to write teenage stories without being disgusting - with Meg Cabot.
- How to write p... never mind. - with E. L. James.
- How to have the weirdest ass plots with the most psycho characters and still win hundreds of awards and have a continuous flow of revenue from said books like a boss. - with Stephen King.
- How to write a fictional novel while still using real life facts - with Kathy Reichs
- How to create characters so human that you believe they are real - with John Green.
- How to break everyone's hearts with your first book and then put the pieces back together with the second - with Gayle Forman.
- How to ruin the love life of your reader giving fake hopes - with Becca FitzPatrick.
- How to write a series and have it become a hit TV show with millions of fans worldwide a decade later - with L. J. Smith.
- How to make a perfect character relationship and fuck it up in six chapters - with Estevan Vega.
- How to kill everyone and still keep your readers interested - George R.R. Martin.
- How to be shit and pretend you are good - with Stephenie Meyer.
